•The lines at Disney World are so long, I finished my taxes, wrote a novel, and still hadn't made it to the Splash Mountain loading dock.
•I didn't know what "personal space" was until I went to Disney World. Now I know it's a mythical concept, like the Yeti in Animal Kingdom.
•Disney World is the only place where "shoulder-to-shoulder" is considered an intimate gathering.
•You know it's crowded at the Magic •Kingdom when the only quiet place is inside the Haunted Mansion, and even then someone's trying to live-stream the ghosts.
•The strollers at Disney World have their own GPS and target lock on your ankles.
•My Fitbit logged 20,000 steps at Disney World. 19,000 of them were just me shuffling forward in a line.
•Trying to find your family in the Disney World crowds is like playing "Where's Waldo?" but all the Waldos are wearing matching Minnie ears.
•Genie+ at Disney World just means you get to stand in a slightly different crowded area.
•The worst part about the Disney World crowds? Realizing half of them are your family, and you still can't get an arm's length from them.
•I paid how much to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with 50,000 strangers? The "magic" is real, all right... because I'm clearly under a spell.
•My favorite Disney ride? Avoiding eye contact with strangers while simultaneously trying to squeeze past them in Fantasyland. It's an immersive experience.
•The "Happiest Place on Earth"? More like "The Most Populous Place on Earth that Requires Reservations."
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